I've honestly been through a lot in my life (if I may say so) but seriously this crying out blood stuff is the most twilight zone horrifying event ever. Particularly also because me & Naz just finish marathon watching two seasons of American Horror Story lol. Suddenly I got my own version of Horror Story.
Sadly even though I had high fever (39c), flu & cough and the red eye; they didn't wanna ward me because they didn't have enough bed in Haematology Ward. So I went back home after seeing the general doctor at emergency, a haematologist and also an ophthalmologist for my eye. I was severely fatigued and hungry by then but had no appetite because of my sickness. Even though we arrived at the hospital around 8++ am but we only left around 3++pm. Pity Naz because he was the one who had to do the running around here and there to get meds & consent etc everything, I fell asleep at the sofa at the waiting area while waiting for him to get the meds.
They scheduled for me to come back the next day to Day Care, Hospital Ampang for a platelet transfusion, sadly Naz had to go to work and I scrambled around the hospital with only one eye open like a half blind mouse. I couldn't care less because I still had fever, cough, flu and the swollen eye had worsening. The doc asked whether I wanted to be warded, well she actually gave me an option either to be warded today or the next day. I regressed and said we'll see how things are tomorrow. She sent me to see the ophthalmologist again anyways, at the eye clinic after much examination the eye doctors insisted that I really should be warded. The eye doctor, Doc Sasi help got me a bed in haemato ward and so I got myself registered as a patient and walked up the ward myself. Even then, I didn't get a bed immediately because I had to wait for patients who have been discharged to pack up and leave.
My eye didn't get any better the first few days, infact it got worse! After finally testing out the bacteria from a swab in my eye, they concluded that it was a bacteria called Pseudomonas. All these while I thought my personal hygiene was at fault, or could have been the contact lens I wore (which isn't everyday because most days I'm at home). Turns out Pseudomonas is typically and strictly an aggressive hospital bug, usually infecting low immune patients at ICUs and such. Rarely can be caught outside, so perhaps I caught it during my stay at the hospital for my swollen foot. Urgh, one by one challenges has come over me.. I didn't think I could actually overcome this one because the eye is a very delicate organ. I thought I could lose my eyesight and finally Allah has paid me in cash for all my sins in this world *cries buckets*
Gladly after two bags of platelet transfusion and a few days at the ward, the bleeding from my eye finally stopped. The explanation was that I had the Pseudomonas bacteria had made a living in my left eye and created abscess around my white eyeballs *freaky alert!* And the red blood stain was from the puss coming out when the abscess erupted...... It's all so gory & horrifying I can't even begin to imagine something like that happening to me!!
This was before they discovered I had Pseudomonas infection in my eye, so the eye drops weren't really working. My eye was so swollen and literally closed shut because of the abscess growth that almost glued my eyes together. I was *this* close to giving up... I look like I just came out of a wrestling match, defeated.
They scheduled me for a CT Scan 5 days ago, to check for abscess in the eye. Urgh the pain when they inserted iodine for super contrast through IV is like being bitten by a scorpion! Not that I know how it's really like but I imagine that's how it felt like uhuk uhuk sobs..
Afterwards I was scheduled for an E&T check-up to see whether my childhood sinus had anything to do with the eye infection. There was no active sinus. Alhamdulilah.. But in order to inspect that, I had to endure this thingamajig going into both my nostrils.
It's a camera with light at the end of it. Seems totally gruesome I didn't even dare watch the inside of my nostrils on the huge TV. Some things are better left to the imagination, seriously. Of course they sprayed a numbing fluid into my nose which you can get a bitter taste in your throat, even the throat was numb I felt like I wasn't breathing & choking at the same time. I was advised not to eat any hot food for two hours because I won't be able to feel the heat and it might scar my throat. Obviously that had me thinking of my lunch in the ward going cold..
After the whole ordeal I though the day was over and I get to rest in bed. A few hours later, the doctor from eye clinic called for me to be sent down. Dang, right when I though I could take a lil nap.. She checked my eye using the eye inspection machine thingy kinda like this one below:
image from Google.
And then she said, "Jom baring, saya nak buang that thing dalam mata awak" (Let's lay down, I wanna remove that thingy from your eye)
I was a bit sceptical but I didn't ask any question, I honestly thought she was gonna use cotton buds to remove whatever thingy she was talking about. She lead me to the procedure room and asked me to lie down on the reclining chair. Next thing I know, she covered me up with a blanket and fixated a huge spotlight machinery over my head.
My heart was pounding but still I didn't ask anything and neither did she explain what she was gonna do next. Then she called up for assistance and had them assemble all the tools & forceps by her side, somewhat ready for an eye operation. I also had that thing holding my eye wide open.
image from Google.
After covering me up with only my left infected eye exposed, I had the urge to ask whether it will be painful or not. The doc cheerfully replied "Oh no worries, I will give you anaesthesia!" while holding a huge ass syringe with a clear liquid in it right above my eyes. Upon seeing the long needle I quickly said no injection please, I'm scared! I mean wouldn't you??
Luckily the eye specialist adhere to my wishes plus she considered that I have low platelet counts therefore didn't want to risk of having me bleeding out. She poured the anaesthesia topically onto my eyeball instead. Instructed me to look to the left and equipped herself with a teeny tiny forceps & scissor. She pulled something from around my eyeball and snipped, pull and snip, pull and snip.....
image from Google.
She said if I feel any pain, do let her know and she will dab more of the anaesthesia. I can feel the tugging in my eye area and can hear the snipping sound. Totally aware of every micro movement she makes. The doc was cheerfully doing her job, yes she is such a positively glowing person. Though the patient beneath her was scared shitless! After what may seem like a year passed by, it was finally over. Phew!
Until she said we might need to do more of this on Thursday, Friday and maybe next Monday as well. I don't even know how far down does she wants to dig in! I was also very dumb-founded at how she fail to give me some sort of warning or explanation prior to the mini eye op. It must've been very casual & normal for her to do this procedure but of course it's completely alien to me!
I'm so glad I'm still living and breathing to tell the story after the whole ordeal. We infact repeated the procedure last Thursday (because Xmas was on Wednesday and Doc Rozi wasn't in) at the very teeny tiny part of my eye near the nose. That one took a short span of time and she even rewarded me and her assistants with blueberry muffins post-procedure. Although it was indeed a horrifying experience involving my delicate eye but it was a successful one and indeed was very much necessary. After the first procedure on Wednesday did I know the thing she had to remove was actually dead cells from the abscess that made a living in my left eye and almost gluing my eyes shut together and also causing my eye to swell like it had been smacked by Muhammad Ali! Pseudomonas is a nasty nasty bug!
Sorry, it was a small image initially but enlarged hence pixelated.
Despite the fact that the ophthalmologist didn't explain what was gonna happen to me prior to procedure, I'm glad I was in skilfully expert hands to do the "de-sloughing". I survived!
Right now I have to deal with the right eye getting red as well, and a cold.. and a cough.... Zzzzzz.. Let's just hope it's a normal mild infection.. I've been warded since 20th December 2013, spent Christmas holiday here and I have a hunch that I might be celebrating New Year in the ward as well. No biggie, whatever it is as long as I'm still living I don't really care not having to celebrate anything.
Life is celebratory enough ♥
p/s: Thanks to everyone for the kind words & duas, may Allah repay your kindness with health and blessings!