So why did I went into chemo, AGAIN?

I've finished up all my 4 gruelling cycles of chemo in 2010.
I went into relapse in May last year 2012 and did one last chemo that the docs say is the strongest my body can handle. 

So in March 2013, when the docs say,"I'm sorry Salmi but your cancer is back........." which every words after that seems like a black hole sucking my life in. You've probably read that part from my FEMALE magazine entry here

And then I said I never went back to conventional medicines again right? I turned to nature, alternative medicine and eating super healthy and shit. So what happened?

This happened, I grew up and pop goes both of my wisdom teeth on the lower level which decided to erupted at the same time and impacting the teeth beside it. That's not my X-ray by the way, just something from google to show you. It sure damn hurt when they first came out.

So my good looking & nice dentist, Dr. Anas who wanted to sponsor me with braces didn't wanna risk removing my teeth due to my disease. Since I do have blood disease, it's plausible to think so. Upon his coercion *heh* I finally went back to Hospital Ampang, I did a walk-in to the Hematology Clinic and got my blood drawn for testing after like 7/8 months. 

WBC aka white blood cells 74.1 (normal 4 -11)
Platelet 7 (normal 150 - 450)
Hgb or red blood cells 6.3 (normal 14 - 18)

So in the hands of these oncologist, Dr. Ong especially; he decided I should go through a mild chemo and a blood transfusion. Dr. Ong said the chemo will only be for 3 days at Day Care, which I can go back home once finished every day. As for the wisdom teeth, he suggested I have it checked at Hospital Ampang's dentistry and if it needs to be removed at least they have all the blood supplies to back me up if so anything happens. Mind you, my platelet needs to be in normal state so that it can help clot the blood and stops any bleeding. 

Honestly I was quite torn because I have detox myself the very best I can, I've tried eating the right things that I know that contains anti-oxidants and anti-cancer stuffs that would help me. Plus, if I start chemo now which means I have to wait another full year to try and conceive whereas I could easily plan for one maybe mid 2014. 

I was, a bit bitter when I came in that morning for my DAY1 CHEMO.

And then they decided to flush my 'ancient' chemoport which admittedly needed it anyways since I haven't flushed it since God knows when. Okay that one is bad behaviour no one should follow.

FYI, that white thingy is planted under my skin so that nurses can insert the needles and catheter for easy transfusion. The pain I felt during needle insertion hmm 'senak sikit la rasa'.. but once the needle is in, it's so much better and freeing than having a catheter on your hands seriously. Chemo ports only last for 5 years though and mine is already about 3 1/2 years.

So once that's done, they did my platelet & hgb transfusion. 

This infuriated me a lil'.
Yeah the caption of this instagram says it all.

While I was doing my chemo way into the evening, someone came to visit. Aini Hayati my dear high school friend asked her friend Dr. Aisyah to pay me a visit. Dr Aisyah has been following me on twitter for quite some time so she pretty much knows my history. It was awkward at first because I was super selebet at my best and I was being this angry lonely emo girl sitting in the corner doing my thang when suddenly someone props up and says hello. But it was nice, it was nice to talk to someone who knows my background and knows medicine and who isn't there to judge me. I felt quite relieved afterwards.

I survived Day1 Chemo! On a lighter heart I posted this on facebook, also remembering that I have a bunch of blog jobs pending to do T___T

On my way to the hospital, while Naz was driving ofcourse; I instagrammed this quote "You have to fight through some bad says to earn the best days of your life."

I checked in Hospital Ampang with more determination, I don't usually check in at places I'm at but Hospital Ampang is all where my life changed.

This time the nurse lined my catheter on my left arm, because she didn't wanna poke at the same place twice on my chemo port in concern of causing infection. I don't mind really, my veins are still pretty visible having avoided the hospital for many moons lol.

I had my lunch along with a bag of bloody A+. A dear cancer fighter friend, Aliaa humored me about blood trait personality which is common among Japanese:

Funny right? What's your blood type and ketsuegikata personality trait?

Chemo ARA-C day 2. Post Chemo Day2, I was feeling extra tired and doc noted I looked pale. 

After Naz picked me up, we went to Bangsar to run some errands and already I can feel the weight of the killer drugs doing it's thing on me. Nothing I'm not familiar with but still..

I only had one last chemo to do, no blood transfusion today. Though I was worried was it gonna be enough to stabilize my blood numbers. Got the the line done on my right hand today, a whole lot difficult to move around and especially type on the phone with a leftie.

After I came back home, I felt really drowsy so I slept and woke up in the evening for lunch. Then I noticed I was feeling chilly so I put on a pair of socks and hooded sweater. Little that I know that was the beginning of a horrible high temp & delirious fever I've ever had. I didn't even know when Mak help changed me into shirt and pants, all I know I would wake up very weakly every few seconds calling out for Naz and my body was so weak I needed help to go to the bathroom. I didn't even know why I was rambling for Naz eventhough he was by my side all the time. I had the worst splitting and menacing headache, sleeping was not an option! Finally after cooling me down with wet towel, with tamarind juice, blind feeding me with food (porridge and some fish) which I can barely remember, have me drink a garlic tea concoction (which I drank profusely).... and I could only remember how heart broken I felt when Naz told me,"This is the second Paracetamol your taking tonight okay?" I just couldn't believe myself but I took it anyways.. Naz said I slept much better afterwards.

No fever yet since that Friday night alhamdulillah

A cold sore propped up on my lips yesterday morning, and during my check-up this morning doc said it's normal for dormant virus to become aggressive as your body's immune system weakens. I'm also a lil sad that the oncologist recommended I take a stronger oral chemo medication (compared to the ones I've taken before) and I might have to continue with blood transfusion every 2 weeks. Did a blood check today and my RESULT:

WBC 45
Platelet 33
Hgb 8.8

Oh by the way, the doc said the high WBC count could be from my body trying to prevent from any infection happening when my wisdom teeth was erupting. Honestly aside from the aches and bulging chipmunks cheeks, there was no puss or infection so for that I'm glad. But creating too much WBC is very dangerous for me, a leukaemia patient... Thinking about it is giving me a headache.

Still pretty unstable... Ah well, I'm gonna continue with healthy eating and what not. Probably try acupuncture again, mandi bunga, mandi ais semua lah.. Pray I have the strength to fight through, pray I will become healthier.. Insya Allah ♥ 

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