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relapsed

Honestly I hate having to write it down again and tell the story all over again but it's just something I owe myself to do. So some of you might know that I had a bone marrow aspiration done 3 weeks ago, and the result of that came back last Friday on my scheduled check-up. We woke up a lil late than we usually do on that day and decided to just wing the traffic to Ampang. Turns out it wasn't so bad. After registering and giving my clinic card to the nurse, we waited and suddenly she called my name while holding 1-2 pieces of paper which she told to put into my medical book (a book all of us cancer patients probably have which holds in all the documents regarding the treatment/procedures/history of our medical situation).

The first word I saw was "RELAPSED". It was my b.m.a test result from 3 weeks ago, which I had done without any pain or stress at all and even went shopping at Mimpi Kita and run business errands till late at night. And I even hosted a soiree that Sunday, a very last minute preparation which only me & Naz had done all the preparation ourselves. I got into a slight fever after that, which I thought was probably the aftermath of not getting enough rest, and Naz said my body was probably in shock out of the b.m.a procedure whatnot. I got better from the fever, took a week off from doing business(yeah right) and went to fashion shows the whole week. I felt fine! Although Naz did say I sleep a lot more than I used to.

Anyways back to that moment when I saw the word "RELAPSED". I was in total shock. Relapse means;

A relapse (etymologically, "who falls again") occurs when a person is affected again by a condition that affected him, or her, in the past. This could be a medical or psychological condition

I honestly did not see it coming, I've been happy I'm doing fine, albeit a lil stressed up over some business stuffs but but I'M FINE! Tears came streaming out like it would never end, I cried softly though at the waiting area even though I know people were watching. All these people probably has fatal diseases as well but none wore bright yellow like I did, none wore native prints feeling like a warrior diva like I did. I came there to be in charge of my disease, and it just didn't happen. I cried and I cried and Naz tried to console me saying we need to hear what the doctor has to say, it's premature to make out our own understanding but you see, I have the result in my hands; if it should be otherwise then the fact should be written otherwise!

After getting my blood taken for check, we went for breakfast. I just really couldn't think straight. I can't even look at Naz in the face and tell him I'm gonna be okay. Gone were all my positive thinking bullshits. You see, in my mind even before this happened, I see my friends in the leukemia/lymphoma ward getting relapse and they... didn't really, come through. So I had my mind set about it and I never even predicted that it would happen to me. I know ACUTE means it's a much stronger faster cancer but but .... honestly, I have no words.. I tweeted a lil bit about it, and came a rush of warm loving tweets from whoever was reading. That made me cry more. That I can't say to them I'm gonna be okay and it's alright I'll be positive about it just coz I'm not feeling it anymore.

Then came the appointment with the doctor, he looked at me & Naz knowingly. He explained my condition, that my cancer blasts is now 12%, my platelet is very much lower than normal (which means I could bleed myself to death if it so happens that I cut myself or have any bleeding), my white blood cells were around 2.xx (normal people 4 - 11 if I'm not mistaken) and red blood cells were also lower than normal. The doctor explained the medical options I have which was to go straight for chemo and most possibly transplant later on. Stronger chemo coz obviously all the 4 types of chemo I had previously did not work on me. Well it only worked for awhile I suppose. I'm not as much worried about the chemo as I am about the transplant. You see, I need someone who has the same blood dna as I am and so far, we've tested my siblings (which should have a match since my father's blood dna x my mom's blood dna = my siblings and me) but to no avail I only have partial match with them, I've also checked with Singapore & Taiwan's stemcell/blood dna donor database (or something like that, dont remember it's formal name) and they found a partial match for cord blood and the doc I'm seeing right now does not recommends cord blood coz the quantity is not enough for an adult and most possibly will be fatal. So you know, I'm scared! A patient I know who went into transplant using her brother's stemcell as donor which was a perfect match, went into relapse quickly after the transplant and didn't make it! And she was one of the strongest most positive person I've ever known, Naz asked the doctor about her and he knows her, the late Kak Nazura. She used to reside across my bed and she's the first person who greeted me on my first day in the ward.. and now, she's... gone.

I really don't want a transplant coz there's a lot of risk, risk of infection which may lead to death, risk of GVHD , a graft versus host disease a.k.a a chance of my body rejecting the donor's stemcell and then death, and the aftermath of transplant that I probably can't walk in the sun (my skin would be overtly sensitive of UV, no I don't glitter), I have to really take care of what I eat, I probably can't work just as hard on Schanaz/SHOP SPUTNIKSWEETHEART, I can't join my girls for outdoor activities and so on so on. Not to mention there's still chances of relapse after the transplant.........

I'm done asking myself why does this happens to me. I just wanna live more, I wanna have babies with Naz, I wanna grow old with him and take our Ilham, Insyirah, Zamrud or Nilam to fashion shows or travel around the world, and have their uncle Angah and aunt Tina & Shuz teach them some music, aunt Adriani teach them Japanese language and so on.. And thinking that I might not get to do those things just breaks my heart into sands. I couldn't even look Naz in the face. I know that's the least of things that he was probably thinking but this disability just made me feel less of a woman being around him.

Anyways, we were supposed to fly to Kota Kinabalu, Sabah on Friday evening supposedly after my doctor's appointment for a mini holiday/honeymoon. I was gonna meet my baby niece Aufa for the first time, and Adam & Adrina too. But we were thinking that it's best to go meet my mom in Perak instead. Naz called my sister in Sabah, and my mom in Perak coz I couldn't even hear their voice without probably breaking into a messy flood. He was such a gentleman about it although he nearly forced me to call my other sisters which I didn't and just texted. He did not cry not one bit, not infront of me so far. And he is truly my pillar of strength.

We did an impromptu doa selamat luncheon yesterday at my mom's, which was actually scheduled for May but had to change the dates coz I'll be going into the ward on 3rd May and since this is gonna be a stronger chemo, I'm probably gonna stay for 5-6 weeks inside. I no longer have any personal insurance left, and I hope Sony won't quit me coz I still need their RM9k per year insurance. It's not much but it will do. Kids, as soon as you start working buy the most pricey insurance you can get for yourself; you won't regret it (find the ones that can turn into savings if you don't claim it) and parents as soon as your baby is born buy them the most covered insurance you can get coz you'll never know.

Naz & I asked for an extension before going in for chemo coz I needed time for myself, and time with him, family & friends. If it's up to the doctor I'd have to check in immediately. I'm glad Naz delayed it a little for me coz it's still such a shocking news and I need more than 24-48 hours to adjust. I need to get my head back in the game and fight for my life again, get connected more with the Creator and fix my relationships with people around me. I didn't expect I would have to go through this again, but I'm just gonna live my life as usual. Hopefully Shop SputnikSweetheart won't have to close even when I'm not around, Naz found a part-time worker for me. I hope she's diligent, dandy and trustworthy. My mom is gonna take care of me at the hospital, AGAIN. Can't express how ashamed I am to have to ask for her help at my age, I probably can do it on my own but no one is letting me -_-", and Naz's mom gonna take care of him while I'm receiving treatment. Atleast he won't be eating outside so much and be alone as much when I'm not around.

Please, the only thing I ask for is for you to pray for my health. I'm not done contributing to the world. I probably haven't even started being a good daughter, the best wife and a kind friend to people that matters. I need to get through this. Again...

Tell me happy stories, take my mind off this I beg of you..

p/s: I have ACUTE MYLEOID LEUKEMIA, previous cancer updates;

EDIT: "Thank you so much everyone for all the kind & thoughtful and some were funny comments/emails/tweets/fb or text messages. I have no words.. Although I can't reply to them all individually as it might break another messy flood of tears but all were read and warm love received ♥ Thank you so much again for reading & spending your time to send over some thoughts & care :) I'm feeling much positive, it does takes time to adjust my head but I'm getting there, slowly... If you would like to send me some help, do help purchase the items I'm selling over at SHOP SPUTNIKSWEETHEART. I won't accept contributions, instead I will trade my best service and brand new goods for money like any normal businesses. It would mean a lot to me.. Thank you once again."

Follow SPUTNIK SWEETHEART

74 comments:

  1. kak ami, stay strong okie? i love you. :)

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  2. cancer ape u ade?? for these passs few months i've been studying about cancer..
    hope u'll stay strong n believes in ALLAH.. everytin happens for a reason...=) he knows whats best for u... who knows u'll get better sooner than u think....

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  3. be strong, Allah always with us :)) pray and fight!!

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  4. I cried so hard read your story.
    May everything goes well.
    Be strong and believe Allah SWT.
    Keep praying to Allah SWT.
    Only Allah SWT could helped you thru this. =='

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  5. Don't despair and never lose hope, cause Allah is always by your side dear kak ami! Be strong! :)

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  6. b strong dear..I know dis is typical but just remember 1 thing. setiap ujian yg Allah beri adalh mengikut kemampuan hambaNya..Allah love u, every pain u had there will always rewards waiting for u Insyallah..

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  7. *sending you warm, cuddly, chocolatey hugs full of all the things you love*

    i know it's tough, but stay strong bibs! don't for one second doubt your chances of survival, or doubt how strong you are. aunty shuz tak sabar nak babysit.

    <3.

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  8. T_T

    Let's go watch moviesssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  9. dear stranger, i dont know you but i cried real hard reading 'relapsed'. as cliche as it may sound, be strong and have faith.tuhan tidak uji hamba-NYA melainkan dari kemampuan hamba-NYA bukan?you should be proud that di mata tuhan, kamu kuat. as Allah best puts it; after hardship comes ease,after hardship comes ease(94;5-6).i'll pray for your recovery

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  10. Hiyya all the way from Japan.. *wave*

    When I was younger, we used to move a lot, my dad being in the army and all.. every couple of years we'll move to a new place, new home, new town, new surrounding, new accent.. it was fun and it didn't really bother me that much as a child as long as I had my family around me, right..

    Looking back at it now, the GOOD I can gather from my childhood experience is I grew to be a very flexible person, I adapt to new environment, friends, food, climate easily.

    The BAD - I get restless if I stay in one place for long, I do not have a sense of belonging, and I do not allow people to be close to me, I put them at arm's length, feeling that at anytime I'll have to move away from them.. and recently I realised I could mess up things in one place and can always start fresh in another place and do not have to really confront my past faults.. *sigh*

    Currently I'm residing in Japan (moved to 3 different states within 6 years - moved house numerous times) before that I was in the UK, before that in KL and left home for boarding school since I was 13..

    Moral of the story - eerrr.. just thought it might take your mind off things for a bit..

    Sending you HUGS and POSITIVE ENERGY all the way from Japan.

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  11. i'll pray for ur health ami..

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  12. cheer up big sista!
    I know and believe u can go through all this. Remember darlink.. the more Allah test u, the more He love u. Don't worry about anything. Pray and try to take care of yourselves. Allah has perfect plan for u.. :) xxx

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  13. Sister sorry to hear that you have relapsed but we all know how strong you are. Inshallah everything will go well.

    I came across this hadith the other day and saved it because it is one that explains something I think we have a hard time explaining because like Allah says we don't know that something bad is good for us or that something good is bad for us. I think it is a good explanation of why Allah has created people with certain afflictions:

    The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “On the Day of Resurrection, when people who had suffered affliction are given their reward, those who were healthy will wish their skins had been cut to pieces with scissors when they were in the world.”

    May Allah give you shifa and your family comfort. Ameen.

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  14. i'll pray for your health. get well soon okey!

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  15. dear ami, pls be strong! hugs.

    i've had a close friend who suffered from lymphoma cancer. she said, the only thing that made her strong in order to fight cancer is her families & friends.

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  16. ami dear, i've been following your stories for a while now, and from what i read, you've been so strong! and you are still now!

    you're really an inspiration. so be strong like you've always been, and have faith, like you've always have. Get well soon okay. My prayers are for you.

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  17. i'll pray for u ami, i have always be inspired by u all this while,hopefully everything will be fine*hugs*

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  18. Ami...

    ........Just be strong okay. I know u will! U just make me cry....I don't really know how to express my feelings...but..i will pray hard for u to get better again Ami! InsyaAllah.....

    We all love u!!!

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  19. be strong my dear..
    Moga Allah mengurniakan kesihatan buat Ami..Ameeen..get well soon ami..kisses and hugss

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  20. You are such a wonderful and kind person Ami! You're in my duaa always.

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  21. Ami. I sayang youuuuuuu. Be strong. I know you are!!

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  22. a lot of prayers are coming ur way. stay strong ami =) xoxo

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  23. ami... :'(
    but you know you made it through the previous one , so im sure this one will be gone in no time with the energy and spirit that you have...amiin..
    luv, Shea

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  24. hey gorgeous sistah!
    u have to win this battle!

    =)

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  25. reading your texts really make me sad. be strong, girl! Hugs!

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  26. amie dear,

    doa kami semua yg mengenali tulisan anda sentiase ada..

    smoga dipermudahkan sgalenyer..

    ameen..

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  27. http://b17nitrilosides.blogspot.com/2008/02/rahsia-apricot-b17-vitamin.html

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  28. Hi,

    I do not know you but stumbles upon your blog few months back. I was glad back then when you seem fine and free from cancer but today post just had me getting teary eyes here in the office. I didn't mean to make you even sadder but i hope you know that everyone is rooting for you to get better. The talk about insurance get me thinking, i didnt have one right now and this post hit me hard. I should be prepared and get me the necessary protections.

    I know you'll be strong going through this. I wish you well.

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  29. Dear Ami

    I do not know you personally but i'm a silent reader of your blog which led me into buying your lovely scarf. You are a fighter and and keep being strong. I cant get enough of you style. My doa is with you!

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  30. My best friend got engaged and she was wearing the most beautiful baju kurung moden :) She's every bit the fashion diva, and so are you :)

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  31. DOA PILIHAN UNTUK MENYEMBUHKAN PENYAKIT KANSER

    To shrink cancer cell – Surah Thaaha 105 -107 (7 times)

    To kill cancer cell:
    1. Surah Al-Qalam 1-5
    2. Surah Al-Qalam 16-20 ( 7 times, repeat verse 20, 20 times)

    To cure from cancer (read following sequence):
    1. Al-fatihah
    2. Al-Baqarah 1-5, 163-165, 255-257, 285-286
    3. Ali-Imran 1-5, 18, 26-27
    4. Al-A’raf 54-56, 117-119
    5. Yunus 80-81
    6. Thaaha 65-69
    7. Mukminun 115-118
    8. As-Shaaffaat 1-15
    9. Ar-Rahman 31-34
    10. Al-Hasyr 21-24
    11. Al-Mulk 3-4
    12. Al-Qalam 3-4
    13. Al-Jinn 3
    14. Al-Kafiruun
    15. Al-Falaq
    16. An-Nas
    (Read 7 times onto water for shower and to be drank)

    Believe, it is He the Most Merciful, the Most Loving, for it is He who
    will give a cure to this disease. Insya’Allah, if it is the best fated and
    charted in my life.

    Always read:
    Doa Nabi Yunus, Bismillah 5, Doa Nabi Ayub, Ayat Syifa’ and istighfar

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  32. Ami, i just want to share with you some prayers to ease difficulties..:

    La illaha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntum minaz zalimeen - (al anbiya:87)

    "None has the right to be worshipped but you (O Allah), Glorified (and Exalted) are You (above all that (evil) they associate with You). truly, i have been of the wrong-doers..

    Surah ni dibaca Nabi Nuh ketika ditelan Ikan Yu, lalu diselamatkan oleh Allah dan terkeluar dari perut ikan Yu.

    I pray for your recovery, Amin Ya Rabal Al Amin.. InsyaAllah

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  33. salam kak, be strong ya.
    may allah bless u always, insyaallah.

    :)

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  34. slm, hi !
    I might not know you but all I can say is be strong. Everything happens for a reason and you really have to believe in Allah SWT with all the paths that HE had chosen for you. I myself am having a big decision for this year. I'm only 19 and i'm suffering from major scoliosis. I need to get my operation done this year or I'll never have the chance again (operation can only be done before 20). As you mentioned in the post, having operantion (or in your case transplant) does not 100% guarentee that you'll be alright. I'm still in the process of making decision. I just want you to know,that there's so many other people in the world who are probably suffering worse that we are. So please, please be strong. I will pray for your health
    amin.

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  35. ami,

    mama doakan agar Allah SWT menyembuhkan ami sebaik mungkin...Dia yang memberikan ujian ini..sabar, berdoalah kepadaNya..insyaAllah ada ganjaran besar di sebalik ujian ini..

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  36. a friend whom i have never met. but a person who had shown courage in fighting for life...

    Ami Dearie,

    you will make it. be strong okay =).. may Allah bless you with abundant barakah in your life.

    i will always make doa for you, really hope you will continue to be a strong woman like always. Amin.

    ..xoxo..

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  37. be strong Ami nami..(u r indeed a super strong girl)!!! all of us doa untuk Ami :)

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  38. dear sis ami :),

    i just can't hold my tears back while reading this *hugs

    be strong okay.

    know that u are lucky enough to have brother Naz and your family by your side

    i'll definitely pray for you :)InsyaAllah

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  39. hugsssssssssss~

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  40. Do a meet up with the followers of your blog! :)

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  41. Sister you have a beautiful, radiant soul. I'm wishing you all the best and Inshallah Allah will take care of the rest. I don't usually comment on ur blog but I follow your tumblr and your fashion posts make my day!

    Hmm... What good news do I have to bring you? Well, it's been a sunny day here in UK. A bit of sunshine always helps me feel better :) It's so rare over here!

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  42. salam darling...
    sending out all my love, praying for you and hope you get well
    xx

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  43. Ami, I know we've never been as close as I would like, but I'll just fess up. I've never teared reading a blog post before until now. I'm glad you're not going through this alone and that you have such a strong support system of love that comes in all directions and distances.

    I hope this won't come off as morbid, but I remember promising I'll shoot a long portrait of you in a place where you're comfortable. I still want to make it happen, at the very least to document this point in life for you. It could even be a joint long portrait with Naz.

    If you don't have my number, DM me? I know the feeling of being loved in comments/ texts is a bit of a double edged sword so I promise everything from me after this will be happy happy thoughts.

    Hugs (and happy thoughts),
    Liy

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  44. Salamualaikum!

    Subanaallah, i will make du'a for you!! While in chemo, take the medicine of the Sunnah, Black seed.

    It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “In the black seed is healing for every disease except death.”

    Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5364; Muslim, 2215.

    Oh Allah, Please Give Ami strength to bare this treatment, and to fight this disease, Oh Allah Please bring her closer to you in Ibadah and take away her fear, Ya Rubb Please Expiate her sins for any pain she feels, and Let her survive and come out on top like before. Ameeen!

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  45. Allah S.W.T will not burden his people with more than they can bear. You will get through this and you will win!

    I will be keeping you in my prayers, sis.

    With love from Singapore <3

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  46. i know who can make you happy or at least put a smile on your face with her silliness and charm, maria elena zarul! yeah, you should have her come and cheer you up =)

    anyhow ami, kak yunne sayang ami. we've only met twice and we communicate mostly online but there's something about you that makes me care about you. i don't want to write any mushi-sushi things that will make you cry so yeah, now you know i care a lot about you for some unexplainable reason and please think about what i said, about maria. she's one patch adams with excessive happiness =) maybe she can take your minds off things

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  47. Salam ami, remember those words that "setiap penyakit ada penawarnya" n be strong k? May Allah swt be with you and consider this one as something that strengthens ur relationship with Him, family n friends. It's ok to be afraid, but as a human, u also have the courage to fight for it. So, whatever it is that you do, don't foreget to make solat dhuha n tahajjud everyday cuz dats sometimes will help you go thru with it..=) smile, i will pray 4 u..

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  48. Dear Ami,

    I have been your silent reader since forever, I have read all your experiences and my god, you are a very strong woman.

    I will pray for your well-being, please be that strong woman that you are as always. You will always be blessed by Allah s.w.t. Insya Allah, everything will be good.

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  49. I started reading your blog religiously since i knew u got cancer coz at that time my own brother was in a long term illness as well and he really lost hope in living. Your blog inspired me to be strong for my brother, to make me understand more about him and even give me strength to face the fate that Allah given us. So when i read about your relapse, it was human that you feel sad, terrified and worried coz that was what my brother feels all the time till his last breath (he was only 18). Close family support is all you need, don't feel like u burden them, coz it worries them more if they can't do anything for you. I believe if they could, they willingly to share some of your pain.Your focus is to be strong & awesome as always..the rest just leave it to Allah, He know what best for you..take care..

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  50. @syasya, i gots very little time to do so before i go for chemo next week.

    thx for all the kind words/comments/emails/fb msgs and so on.i have no words.. i cant reply them all coz it will only break another flood haha.. but ur thoughts are read and warm love received ♥

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  51. Dear Ami,

    Eat all your fav food before chemo session started.

    Don't forget to bring your laptop to the ward so you can watch your favourite movies.

    Bring some books to read too, including the Quran.

    Have enough supply of domperidone or other antiemetic drug, I'm sure the doctor will prescribed some to you.

    Take along your most comfy sweater, so you won't get cold in the ward.

    And socks too!

    And lastly, doa and redha. Ask anything you want from Him and remember, as cliche as it sounds, everything happens for a reason.

    Take care. xoxo

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  52. Dear Ami ..

    Be strong ...i know u are the best fighter ...think positive !!!! ..get well soon ..!!!

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  53. salam. kak ami, insyAllah i'll doa for you akak. Be strong and remember Allah is always there for you :)

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  54. I'm so sad do hear this. Inshallah this too will past. Stray strong and pray to Allah every day with your man. You're on my mind.

    / A reader from Sweden.

    <3

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  55. Hi Ami, just stumbled upon your blog. You ought to win the battle because you're strong, talented and such a beautiful person.

    You'll be in my prayers :)

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  56. Dear Ami,
    We've never met but I've always admired your courage and bold fashion sense.
    My heart sank reading this post, I even dreamt of meeting you in an event (what event? i wasn't even a fashionista,LOL!) where I get to meet you and gave you a big hug.
    You were so strong ,calm and brave it felt so real.
    I know in real life,you're the same person that I've met in my dream :)
    Thank you for sharing with us. Our thoughts and prayers for you on your recovery soon,insyaAllah.

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  57. I really hope u will be strong.. remember. there's a will when we strong :)

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  58. Salam kak Ami,
    I'll pray hard for you.Walau siapa pun kita,Allah tetap akan menguji kita. And ujian Allah sentiasa ada hikmahnya. Yes,it can be very-very undoubtedly hard.Kerana Allah bersama-sama dgn orang yg sabar. Kuatkan keyakinan akak and we are always here to support and pray for you.Doa kami semua di sini buat akak agar Allah memudahkan segalanya dan hanya Dia sebaik-baik Penyembuh.ameen...

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  59. Sometimes when the hardest things hit your life, then you will realise how precious life is. This might be a test for you dear, and remember when a test is given, it means Allah noticed you and he wants to see if your imaan is strong enough. Don't worry, it might be hard, but HE will ease up everything for you, insyaAllah. I will pray for your health okay =) Amin.

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  60. Kak AMI, be strong. (: Kami sentiasa mendoakan yang terbaik. (: Semoga kak Ami lebih tabah menjalani kehidupan. (:

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  61. iA all goes well
    and u will be in my doa's!
    -haiina-

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  62. stay strong as i know u are such a strong lady...

    i met one patient ..after had been told he had cancer ( end stage ) n he just react with saying alhamdulillah...

    sista,whatever think may happen i know u dah redha dgn ketentuanNya..but plz jgn lost hope okay...

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  63. I cried when I was reading this post. Oh my,I'm speechless. I hope you stay strong and keep holding on. May Allah ease everything and may you be blessed by His blessing. I'll pray for you. Again, this is another test for you by Him. I'd like to quote someone "Allah will never give you hardship/test if you can't handle it, so if there's a test for you, He knows you can handle it. InsyaAllah"..And walau macam mana pun, kena redha dgn ketentuan Allah. And again, stay strong and I'll pray for you. Fighting.. :)

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  64. salam. kak ami, please stay strong ya. much loveee =)))

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  65. Salam,

    I have no better words but to share some practices and amalan that you and your closed ones to do. Please if you can contact me if you wish and I will pray for your recovery insya allah.

    azaalleeaa@yahoo.com

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  66. amy dearie.. be strong ya. we'll always pray for you. insya Allah everything will b fine. amin.

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  67. Ami, I am so sorry for this terrible news. But from reading and being inspired by your words and images... I know that you are strong and amazing women to fight it!
    I dont think you can get too many support comments, so I have chosen to make this my first comment on your blog since first finding it. And it definitely wont be my last :)
    All my thoughts and prayers to you (all the way from Australia) !
    x, Kasturi.

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  68. Hello Ami,

    I don't know you but I feel your pain, and your fear.

    I hope I will be able to give you some strength and hope.

    I have a cousin who had osteosarcoma at 16. This is a rare form of bone cancer, which is very very agressive and something like only one in 300 000 people get it. The doctors gave 30:50 odds that he would make it because it was just this aggressive.

    He is still living to this day. He is 26 years old now, 10 years on. Without a doubt, I believe that his full recovery was due to his positive spirit and will to live. When we visited him at the hospital, there was never that tense sickly air around him. Even though he had half his leg amputated, he was cheerful and happy. I think he refused to be sad even though I am sure that when we left the hospital and he was alone then he probably did break down a few times. My point is, you can beat this. Please be strong and surround yourself with positive thoughts, and happy cheerful people.

    :)

    I hope you win this fight too

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  69. my first impression of you is this is a strong, not to mention, beautiful woman. I pray that you'll make it through, insyaAllah. take care dear.

    http://twinkywinkystars.blogspot.com

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  70. it'd go well i'm sure, stay strong love! :)

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  71. it'd go well am sure, stay strong love! :)

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  72. dearest ami. a year has passed since our last visit to u and day by day me husband and i have the strong urge to revisit you again. do be strong and our prayers to god for your good health. xox.

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